Journey with You

April 28, 2009. I was 40w1d and no sign of labor. I went to have my routine prenatal appointment and had another non-stress test. Everything was normal. However, the doctor insisted to schedule the inducement in a week just in case I did’t go in labor simultaneously before I reached 41 week mark. I didn’t want to be induced at all so I wasn’t exactly happy with the arrangement. Deep in my heart, however, I felt the baby was coming soon. According to my ovulation date, my due date should actually be 4/29/09.

I was planning on keeping working until last minute. I had a lot of braxton hicks that night. I double checked my hospital bag and went to bed.

5am on 4/29/09, I started getting contractions. Not too frequent and not too painful. I was considering taking the day off. I lay in bed for another two hours. Based my last experience, I felt I still had about 12-24 hours to go. DH didn’t want me to take a chance and thought I should just stay home. Cyrus was going to school anyway and DH had an scheduled appointment. I told him it’s not going to happen in a few hours so go ahead.

To help the labour progress, I decided to run some errands after I dropped Cyrus off at the daycare. When I was cashing out at the COOP, the cashier asked when the baby was due. I told her probably tonight!

I then watched a movie while I kept track on my contractions. It lasted about 40 seconds and 10-15 minutes apart. After DH came back, we went to a coffee house for a lunch. I also took a walk with my old neighbor who I happened to bumped into after lunch. The contractions were more frequent when I was walking but the walking motion actually helped reduce the pain. The breathing and relaxation techniques I learned from the Bradley Method also helped a lot.

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This birth plan is intended to express the preference and desires we have for the birth of our baby. It is not intended to be a script. We fully realize that situations may arise such that our plan cannot and should not be followed. However, we hope that barring any extenuating circumstances, you will be able to keep us informed and aware of our options. We would like to be notified before ANY medical intervention is performed. Thank you.

Induction:

• I would prefer to use natural methods to start labor and trust my body to progress labor spontaneously
• I do not wish to have the amniotic membrane ruptured artificially

First Stage (Labor):

• Dim lights.
• Peace and Quiet.
• Music of our choice.
• Would prefer not to have students, residents etc.
• Would prefer to keep vaginal exams to a minimum.
• Maintain mobility (Walking, rocking, up to bathroom, etc.)
• Eat and drink to comfort.
• Intermittent Monitoring (ACOG Standards) with an external monitor.
• Please do not offer me pain medications, I will ask for them if I want them.
• Relaxation techniques (breathing, focusing, etc.).
• Positioning as desired.
• Massage (back, foot, counter pressure, etc.).
• Ultra low dose epidural (walking epidural) if I ask for it
• Would like my son to present if he is able
• No routine IV

Second Stage (Birth):

• I would like to be allowed to choose the position in which I give birth, including squatting.
• Prolonged length, if progress is being made
• No forceps or vacuums unless absolutely necessary
• Spontaneous Bearing Down. Even if I am fully dilated, and assuming the baby is not in distress, I would like to try to wait until I feel the urge to push before beginning the pushing phase.
• Birth/Squat Bar
• I would like a mirror available so I can see the baby’s head when it crowns.
• I would prefer no episiotomy, but please use compresses, massage and positioning. If an episiotomy is necessary to prevent tear, I would prefer pressure episiotomy (Done without anesthesia)
• Local Anesthesia for repair a tear
• Would like my son to present if he is able
• Video/Pictures taken

Immediately after delivery:

• I would like to have the baby placed on my stomach/chest immediately after delivery.
• Delay the cord cutting until after it has stopped pulsating
• Prefer husband to cut the cord
• I would like to have the baby evaluated and bathed in my presence.
• If the baby must be taken from me to receive medical treatment, my husband will accompany the baby at all times.
• I do not want a routine injection of Pitocin after the delivery to aid in expelling the placenta.
• I would like to see the placenta after it is delivered.

Baby Care:

• I would like to nurse my baby immediately after birth
• Breastfeeding exclusively, no formula
• No pacifiers or glucose water
• I would like to have the baby “room in” and be with me at all times unless required for health reasons or upon my request

Cesarean Birth:

• Unless absolutely necessary, I would like to avoid a Cesarean
• If a Cesarean delivery is indicated, my husband and I would like to be fully informed and to participate in the decision-making process.
• Spinal/epidural anesthesia
• Husband present
• Video/Pictures taken
• Screen lowered to view the birth or mirror
• Explain the surgery as it’s happening
• Free one hand to touch the baby
• If the baby is not in distress, the baby should be given to my husband immediately after birth.
• Husband to cut the cord
• Breastfeeding in recovery room

According to the dating ultrasound at my doctor’s, I am supposed to be due today. Other than some braxton hicks, I am not feeling anything just yet.

According to my ovulation chart, however, I can actually be due as late as April 29th which is still 2 days away. DH is getting restless but I am not in a hurry to have the baby yet. I am enjoying my last few days of sleeping through the night and don’t mind making a few more bucks at work.

I am going back to the dcotor’s tomorrow morning. I’ve already made it clear that I don’t want to be induced. We shall see what happens.

When I was researching on my options of birth, I got a recommendation for this book from a Bradley lecture. I was hoping we could at least take a condensed class focusing on the birth part. (Their whole program lasts about three months.) However, I was already two months until due date and the only lecture available said she won’t get to the labor part until May. Therefore, I decided to get a book and self-study.

I was initially thinking about getting the Husband Coached Childbirth by Dr. Bradley. After reading reviews and talking to the lecture, I’ve decided to get the Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg. Dr. Bradley’s book focus more than just the birth itself and it doesn’t have many illustrations or pictures. The later one focuses mainly on all the relaxation techniques I need for birth and has many helpful pictures and illustrations.

After reading the book, even though this is my second child, I’ve realized how few I knew about childbirth. The birth lesson we took with Cyrus seems totally useless compared to this book. I really learned more about my body’s changes during birth and realized how I should simply relax my body and feelings and let my body do the job. I’ve learned lots of useful relaxtion and pain-relief techniques. A lot of them actually are simple meditation techniques. I also learned the right positions for birth and how I can breath and push efficiently during the second stage.

Like some readers pointed out, some medical information in the book is outdated. However, I still strongly recommend this book simply because the basic principle of natural childbirth doesn’t change, no matter how much the technology has changed. I absolutely love the concept of “husband coached childbirth”. It’s so helpful the book teaches husbands how to handle the whole childbirth process. It’s wonderful to think that my husband and I are a team. I am not giving birth all by myself. We are doing it together!

One reader said she had a smooth, natural childbirth by reading through this book for only once. I am nervous as the first time but am also much more educated and confident that I am in charge with the birth of my child. I am looking forward to doing it “my way”.

It’s not just about saying “No”, it’s an attitude problem. We think, anyway.

Yes, he will say no for pretty much anything, if he is not in the good or cooperative mood, from taking a nap, eat, pee, poo, brush teeth, get changed, or simple wash hands. We know this is the normal behavior among two year olds.

However, saying no is not the only thing for my son.

Ever since he started walking, we always remind him to stay on the sidewalk whenever we’re outside. We told him how the street is for cars and cars are dangerous. Since then, he likes to keep saying “I want to be hit by a car” whenever we are around cars. One time I was holding his hand walking cross a parking lot. He saw a car coming and he suddenly let go my hand and stopped in the middle of the parking lot, said “I want to be hit by a car.”

He also likes to stand at the edge of the bed, says “Cyrus falls down.” Even though we took the bed frame out so it’s fairly low, we do live at the 2nd floor and what if that’s what he thinks when he stands by the windows?

I picked him up from the daycare yesterday. I asked him if he wanted to take the elevator or the stairs. He chose stairs. As we walked downstairs, he started saying: “Cyrus falls downstairs.” I said: “Why do you want to do that? You’ll get hurt and Mommy and Daddy will be very sad.” He answered me: “I want Mommy and Daddy to be sad.” Then he also pointed at t a stranger downstairs and said: “I want that man to be sad.”

See? This is the kind of bad attitude I’m talking about. It’s not simply about saying no to our requests. We’re actually a little bit worried where this is all coming from, how serious he actually is when he says those things, and if there is any potential psychological issues we need to be concerned.