Journey with You

Well, the BIG accomplishment in sleeping I mentioned in the last entry hasn’t happened again. I guess the history doesn’t always repeat itself. I’ve been sleeping whole night with him. The weather is getting cooler and it’s kind of nice to have someone to snuggle with. I should be VERY careful with blankets though! I don’t want any accident to happen.

My arms and hands have been hurting due to carrying him too much. He sure is getting bigger and heavier. The only place he can fall asleep in, besides my arms, is the car seat. DH brought down a used stroller frame from attic and we’ve been using it with the car seat in the house. When he is fussing, I would put him in the car seat and roll around the house and he usually quiets down. This is great. I can give my hands a break and actually get some things done around the house, like cleaning and cooking. He is in it while I am typing this. I use my feed to move the stroller back and forth. It works!!

Cyrus and I had a nice outing on Monday with my mother-in-law. We picked out a few children’s books for him at a bookstore. I’ve been reading to him. I love it! He would look at me when I read to him. We then went to an Italian restaurant for lunch. That was my first time eating out after delivery and Cyrus first time to a restaurant. He was very curious. He didn’t sleep but didn’t fuss until we’re about to leave. I was very happy about it. We then went to Target to find some sweater for him. We also got a new swing. I’m happy to have it. He napped a while in it yesterday afternoon.

Cyrus has started smiling!! He devoted his first smile to my father. How sweet! Even though I was a little bit disappointed. I got the first smile from him on the day my parents flying back home. I’ve been getting a couple more smiles since then. I can’t wait to see his smiles all day long. His smile is the sweetest thing in the world. It melts my heart.

We also had a BIG accomplishment last night. I’ve been trying to train him to sleep in the crib. Until last night, he could only sleep for about two to three hours first half of the night. Last night, I put him to bed around 10pm and he didn’t wake up until 1am. I nursed him for 20 minutes and put him down. He woke up in five minutes and I nursed him on the other breast for another 10 minutes and he fell asleep. I put him down then. He grunted for a little bit and then slept soundly until 4:30am. It was great!! I got to sleep on my own and he still got his milk! This is definitely a big milestone for me. I hope we can continue this. I changed his diaper and he got wide-awake and then I put him in bed with me again. I think the trick is not to change diaper if I can help it. Diaper change really wakes him up and it’s hard to put him to sleep again.

It’s another story during daytime. My parents left and yesterday was the first day back to all-by-myself during daytime, while DH is at work. I barely had any time to do anything else. He nursed for a few minutes and fell asleep in my arms. I put him down and he woke up five minutes later, crying. It was like that whole day. The longest stretch I got was about an hour. I got three loads of laundry done using five minutes here and there. It’s tiring though. I wish he could nap longer so I can get more things done. I also need to start getting a plan ready for pumping. If he doesn’t nap, I don’t know how I can find time to do that.

I can’t believe my son is four weeks old today and he is going to be a month old in 3 days. Well, I can believe it. It’s just that time goes by so quickly. I am taking three months of maternity leave and only have two months left. He is growing heavier but is so tiny still and now I am not sure if I will be mentally prepared to send him to a daycare in two months. I love holding him and looking at him. I love all his movements and his facial expressions. I am completely in love with him.

My parents arrived on August 28th. My aunt came to visit for a day with them and went back to New Jersey. They’ve been a great help to me. My dad helps fixing some stuff around the house and my mom helps cooking. They both help holding and calming Cyrus when he cries so I can have some time for myself. They both love Cyrus very much. The only small problem is that they aren’t used to the weather here and keep over-bundling Cyrus and I am afraid he is over-heated. Besides, I am still building my milk supply when they first got here and they gave me extra pressure. My mother and my aunt didn’t breastfeed so they don’t understand the demand/supply rule and a breastfeed baby needs to eat more often. They saw Cyrus crying all the time and started thinking it’s all because he was hungry. My dad even commented that since I didn’t leak I didn’t have enough milk, which wasn’t true according to my lactation consultant. My breasts are simply more disciplined.

Anyway, after all the frustration and some brief moments of considering quitting breastfeeding, we got some great news at his 3-4 weeks doctor’s appointment. We got our favorite doctor this time. Cyrus already exceeded his birth weight at the two week visit and he’s been gaining more than one ounce a day since the first visit to the doctor. After the two week appointment, I’d been cutting the formula down to one to two times a day with two ounce each time. At this last appointment, he weighed 8 lb 5 ounces and the doctor was really pleased by it. He asked me how many dirty diapers I’ve been getting and then checked him over. I asked him about the option of quitting the formula all together. He told me I can definitely feed him exclusively on breast milk if I want to. We’re so excited to hear that! I was so glad I didn’t give up.

My little Cyrus is growing. He already flipped himself over one time from his tummy to his back on the GYM. He is making lots of sounds other than crying also and more alert. He started being able to focus on subjects and faces. He is especially drawn to lights. He also started showing discomfort when he is having gas or trying to have a bowel movement. He still doesn’t like to sleep in his crib and I am still co-sleeping. I like to have him next to me sleeping but also worried the safety issue. I can be a sound sleeper at times. I’ll really need to find a way to train him. The problem is I really don’t have the energy to walk him to sleep in the middle of night. Or maybe I am just too lazy?

He’s been sleeping okay with me. We usually go to bed between 9pm and 10pm. He will wake up twice, 1am-2am and 4am-5am. I am pretty happy with the sleep I am getting right now but it scares me to think about the possible change of this good schedule if I am going to train him to sleep on his own. I am feeding him 2-3 hours during day time to keep him happy and to maintain my milk supply. I am thinking about taking a class about how to fit pumping into the routine to start storing the milk for going back to work.

We did go to a lactation consultant before Cyrus’ last doctor’s appointment. Like other LC’s at the hospital, she said he latched on well so that wasn’t a concern. We did learn some tips on keeping him awake during the feeding to make sure he gets enough. So far that seems to help. It’s hard to do when I am really tired at the night feedings though since I hardly keep myself awake. Feeding in his nursery is not really comfortable either. The single bed I am sleeping on is too soft and too low. I need to bend my back to feed him and it starts to hurt my back. I really hope there was a nice rocking chair. We weighed him before and after the feeding session at the lactation consulting and he got about 2.1 ounces out of both breasts and she said it was fine. She suggested we supplement formula, if we choose to, in the evening since mother’s milk supply is at the lowest point at that time of a day. Since then we’ve been offering a bottle after breast-feeding in the evening, usually around dinnertime. I had my parent do it because they like to feel involved.

I myself physically have felt much better. I had a really painful bowel movement last week but it hasn’t happened again. Thank goodness. I was worried I opened my stitches but the nurse said I wouldn’t. I am not bleeding anymore, just having some light brown discharge. It’s a great feeling not need to wear think pads anymore. I’ve been out shopping with my parents a few times and it’s much easier than before. I hope I can take Cyrus out to places soon. Probably not for another month though since I don’t want him to catch germs at this point.

I went to a La Leche League meeting this Tuesday. Thanks to a young mom we bumped into in the neighborhood. The topic was weaning. It’s not really something I am worried about at this point but it’s good to meet other breastfeeding mothers. I was hoping to get some day care recommendations but it seemed to me that most of them were housewives and I am not sure how helpful they will be. I also needed to rush home to feed Cyrus so didn’t get a chance to hang out afterwards. I am hoping to do so at the next meeting. We’ll see what happens.