Journey with You

It’s been a long since I last updated this diary. Lots of things happened. FIL called us unexpectedly to announce the separation with his wife. Democratic Party took over two houses after the mid-term election. Our old router broke and we survived a weekend without Internet. Finally, I quit my job. I am officially a housewife at the moment.

I was all ready to go back to work. We’ve found a nice day care for Cyrus. It’s not cheap though. Three months ago before I went on maternity leave, I thought my team and my boss were all on the same page that I’m going to be a full time trader after I come back from the leave and all my compensation and benefits will stay the same. However, a week ago, while I was on the phone with my boss, he told me he wasn’t sure where to put me yet since my group don’t think I’m ready to be a trader. Days later, in a meeting with my boss at the office, he told me that I will go back to what I was doing and my compensation may be reduced. What’s even more insulting was that he said the lady who covered my work “has proved herself and is ready to be a trader.” The news came as a shock. I wasn’t expecting this. I wish they could have let me know earlier, if they knew they weren’t going to promote me, and I could have done some job searching during the past three months. If my compensation is reduced, it’s barely worth it to put Cyrus at the day care. I felt really upset, disappointed, and tricked. After discussing with DH, we both decided that there is no future at this company and I should switch avenue.

That’s it. I am a staying home mom and a woman at her crossroad in terms of a career life. Part of me is relieved that I can be with Cyrus longer. Part of me is anxious for the unforeseen future. Our financial situation is going to be tighter due to this as well. It’s going to be hard but I’m hoping God will open another door for me. One day at a time, I tell myself.

Cyrus is three months already. I’ve noticed he had a growth spurt a week ago. He couldn’t fit in some of his sleepers ALL A SUDDEN. I HAPPILY packed them away. My little bean is growing!! He also discovered his hands and likes to suck on them. He is capable grabbing things now and will put them in his mouth to experiment. I am so proud of his development. He uses his left hand more than his right hand and we’re wondering if, by any chance, it’s a sign of him being left-handed. We wouldn’t want to interfere; instead, we’ll let the nature take the course.

We’re semi-co-sleeping now. I’ll nurse him until he falls asleep and I’ll move him to the Bassinet. He can sleep in it for three to four hours and then I’ll bring him in to bed with me again. I am happy with the progress.

Last week, I’ve started getting back to drinking tea. He seemed to be more aggravated and cranky and sleep less during that period of time. I was wondering if it’s because of the caffeine so I stopped it. I am hoping that’s the reason. We’ll see.