Journey with You

Time really goes faster than blinking once you have a child. Amazing.

Some reflections on how I’ve been doing for the past 24 months. There is a lot of try-and-error and they are all worth being written down. Here are a list of things that I would do again when we have another child and things that I am hoping to do differently.

Do’s:
1. Breast Feeding: one of best decisions I’ve ever made.
2. Quit night nursing and train baby to sleep through the night: I am not against co-sleeping at all but do believe every family is different and each family should work out their own arrangement. We started training him to sleep through the night and stopping co-sleeping when he was about one year old. It took about 1-2 weeks of difficult time but then it improved my sleep quality greatly. It also help him to sleep through the night and prevent teeth decay from night nursing.
3. Staying home for the first year: It’s hard to be a housewife but it’s good for the baby. It’s not always going to be an option but we will try. Maybe even work part-time from home is better than nothing.
4. Parenting books and Internet, and networking: I’ve found books and Internet help me tremendously. Magazine are not quite as good. Networking with other moms at Le Leche Leage was very helpful and encouraging. It helped me get through nursing difficulties.
5. Appropriate disciplines: we don’t believe in physical punishment. We try to reason with him and give out warnings. For things that cause great danger such as running to the street, we use “time-out” method.
6. Offer nourishing environment: lots of books and toys. Mostly age appropriate along with a couple thing for older ones to stimulate the child. Switch toys and books around to keep them “fresh”. It’s as important to let the child learn from daily routines and surrounding, let him observe a crawling ant is as educational as reading a book.
7. Offer different variety of foods: Cyrus is a picky eater so meal time is always kind of difficult. But we’ve learned not to get stressed over it. It’s very important to offer a variety of menus for him but let him make the choice.
8. Lots of love and laughs!

Donot’s:
1. Let other people stress you out: remember every child is different and has their own schedule. Don’t let other “know-it-all” people stress you out. Observe what other parents do, listen to what people say but trust your own instinct.
2. Nursing only: Breastfeeding is wonderful but I’ve found it’s important that the child is used to take a bottle from someone other than mom. I was so afraid that he would reject my breast so stopped using bottles completely. It was a mistake. He didn’t want to have anything to do with bottles. I can’t go out, neither wear dresses. It’s a lot of work and very inconvenient. Training a child to take at least a bottle a day will give mom and dad a lot of flexibility and if mom needs to go to work, she can pumped and have daycare/babysitter give him mom’s milk in a bottle! As nutritious but more convenient.
3. Argue in front of a child: we did this too often. When he was little he would cry. Now he is older he would say “sorry, Dada. sorry, Mama” even though he is not the reason of the argument. Children are very sensitive and it’s important to show your best in front of them. If an argument happens and the child is present, try to make up in front of him too. He needs to learn that people have conflicts and we can all come up with a solution in a civilized way.
4. Inconsistent: It’s very important to walk the talk in front of a child. I know sometimes I was too harsh on him, sometimes giving to easily. Neither is good. Consistency help a child learn and rules and compliance and it gives them security.